🚫stop bullying🚫
Bullying is the use of force, coercion, hurtful teasing or threat, to abuse, aggressively dominate or intimidate. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception (by the bully or by others) of an imbalance of physical or social power. This imbalance distinguishes bullying from conflict.
Here are some definitions and definitions of bullying from several book sources:
- According to Olweus (2005), bullying is an act or deliberate aggressive behavior, which is carried out by a group of people or someone repeatedly and from time to time against a victim who cannot defend himself easily or as an abuse of power / strength systematic.
- According to Wicaksana (2008), bullying is long-term physical and psychological violence committed by a person or group against someone who is unable to defend himself in a situation where there is a desire to hurt or frighten that person or make him / her depressed.
- According to Black and Jackson (2007), bullying is a proactive type of aggressive behavior in which there is an intentional aspect of dominating, hurting, or eliminating, an imbalance of strength both physically, age, cognitive abilities, skills, and social status, and is done in an repeated by one or more children against other children.
- According to Sejiwa (2008), bullying is a situation where there is abuse of physical and mental strength / power by a person / group, and in this situation the victim is unable to defend or defend himself.
- According to Rigby (1994), bullying is a desire to hurt that is shown into direct action by a person or group that is stronger, irresponsible, usually repeated, and is done happily with the aim of making the victim suffer.
Bullying Elements
According to Coloroso (2006), there are four elements in bullying behavior to someone, namely as follows:
1. Power imbalance. Bullies can be people who are older, bigger, stronger, more verbally proficient, higher in social status, of a different race, or not of the same gender. Large groups of children who bully can create an imbalance.
2. Intention to injure. Bullying means causing emotional pain and / or physical injury, requires action to be able to hurt, and creates joy in the perpetrator's heart when witnessing the injury.
3. The threat of further aggression. Both the perpetrator and the victim know that bullying can and is likely to happen again. Bullying is not meant to be a one-time event.
4. Terror. Bullying is systematic violence used to intimidate and maintain dominance. Terror that stabs right in the heart of the victim is not only a way to achieve the goal of bullying, terror is the goal of bullying.
Bullying Ranges
Bullying ranges from one-on-one, individual bullying through to group bullying, called mobbing, in which the bully may have one or more "lieutenants" who are willing to assist the primary bully in their bullying activities. Bullying in school and the workplace is also referred to as "peer abuse". Robert W. Fuller has analyzed bullying in the context of rankism. The Swedish-Norwegian researcher Dan Olweus says bullying occurs when a person is "exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons",and that negative actions occur "when a person intentionally inflicts injury or discomfort upon another person, through physical contact, through words or in other ways".Individual bullying is usually characterized by a person behaving in a certain way to gain power over another person.
A bullying culture can develop in any context in which humans interact with each other. This may include school, family, the workplace, the home, and neighborhoods. The main platform for bullying in contemporary culture is on social media websites. In a 2012 study of male adolescent American football players, "the strongest predictor [of bullying] was the perception of whether the most influential male in a player's life would approve of the bullying behavior."A study by The LancetChild & Adolescent Health in 2019 showed a relationship between social media use by girls and an increase in their exposure to bullying.
Bullying may be defined in many different ways. In the United Kingdom, there is no legal definition of bullying, while some states in the United States have laws against it. Bullying is divided into four basic types of abuse – psychological (sometimes called emotional or relational), verbal, physical, and cyber.
Behaviors used to assert such domination may include physical assault or coercion, verbal harassment, or threat, and such acts may be directed repeatedly toward particular targets. Rationalizations of such behavior sometimes include differences of social class, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, appearance, behavior, body language, personality, reputation, lineage, strength, size, or ability. If bullying is done by a group, it is called mobbing.
Etymology
The word "bully" was first used in the 1530s meaning "sweetheart", applied to either sex, from the Dutch boel "lover, brother", probably diminutive of Middle High Germanbuole "brother", of uncertain origin (compare with the German buhle "lover"). The meaning deteriorated through the 17th century through "fine fellow", "blusterer", to "harasser of the weak". This may have been as a connecting sense between "lover" and "ruffian" as in "protector of a prostitute", which was one sense of "bully" (though not specifically attested until 1706). The verb "to bully" is first attested in 1710.
Types
Bullying has been classified by the body of literature into different types. These can be in the form of nonverbal, verbal, or physical behavior. Another classification is based on perpetrators or the participants involved, so that the types include individual and collective bullying. Other interpretation also cite emotional and relational bullying in addition to physical harm inflicted towards another person or even property. There is also the case of the more recent phenomenon called cyberbullying.
Physical, verbal, and relational bullying are most prevalent in primary school and could also begin much earlier while continuing into later stages in individuals lives.
Individual
Individual bullying tactics are perpetrated by a single person against a target or targets. Individual bullying can be classified into four types outlined below :
Physical
Physical bullying is any bullying that hurts someone's body or damages their possessions. Stealing, shoving, hitting, fighting, and intentionally destroying someone's property are types of physical bullying. Physical bullying is rarely the first form of bullying that a target will experience. Often bullying will begin in a different form and later progress to physical violence. In physical bullying the main weapon the bully uses is his/her body, or some part thereof, when attacking his/her target. Sometimes groups of young adults will target and alienate a peer because of some adolescent prejudice. This can quickly lead to a situation where they are being taunted, tortured, and "beaten up" by their classmates. Physical bullying will often escalate over time, and can lead to a detrimental ending, and therefore many try to stop it quickly to prevent any further escalation.
Verbal
Verbal bullying is one of the most common types of bullying. This is any bullying that is conducted by speaking or other use of the voice and does not involve any physical contact. Verbal bullying includes any of the following:
- Derogatory name-calling and nicknaming
- Spreading rumors or lying about someone
- Threatening someone
- Yelling at or talking to someone in a rude or unkind tone of voice, especially without justifiable cause
- Mocking someone's voice or style of speaking
- Laughing at someone
- Making insults or otherwise making fun of someone
In verbal bullying, the main weapon the bully uses is voice. In many cases, verbal bullying is common in both genders, but girls are more likely to perform it. Girls, in general, are more subtle with insults than boys. Girls use verbal bullying, as well as social exclusion techniques, to dominate and control other individuals and show their superiority and power. However, there are also many boys with subtlety enough to use verbal techniques for domination, and who are practiced in using words when they want to avoid the trouble that can come with physically bullying someone else.
Relational
Relational bullying (sometimes referred to as social aggression) is the type of bullying that uses relationships to hurt others. The term also denotes any bullying that is done with the intent to hurt somebody's reputation or social standing which can also link in with the techniques included in physical and verbal bullying. Relational bullying is a form of bullying common among youth, but particularly upon girls. Social exclusion (slighting or making someone feel "left out") is one of the most common types of relational bullying. Relational bullying can be used as a tool by bullies to both improve their social standing and control others. Unlike physical bullying which is obvious, relational bullying is not overt and can continue for a long time without being noticed.
Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying is the use of technology to harass, threaten, embarrass, or target another person. When an adult is involved, it may meet the definition of cyber-harassment or cyberstalking, a crime that can have legal consequences and involve jail time. This includes bullying by use of email, instant messaging, social media websites (such as Facebook), text messages, and cell phones. It is stated that Cyberbullying is more common in secondary school than in primary school.
Collective
Collective bullying tactics are employed by more than one individual against a target or targets. Collective bullying is known as mobbing, and can include any of the individual types of bullying. Trolling behavioron social media, although generally assumed to be individual in nature by the casual reader, is sometime organized efforts by sponsored astroturfers.
Mobbing
Mobbing refers to the bullying of an individual by a group, in any context, such as a family, peer group, school, workplace, neighborhood, community, or online. When it occurs as emotional abuse in the workplace, such as "ganging up" by co-workers, subordinates or superiors, to force someone out of the workplace through rumor, innuendo, intimidation, humiliation, discrediting, and isolation, it is also referred to as malicious, nonsexual, nonracial/racial, general harassment.
Characteristics
Of bullies and accomplices
Studies have shown that envy and resentment may be motives for bullying. Research on the self-esteem of bullies has produced equivocal results. While some bullies are arrogant and narcissistic, they can also use bullying as a tool to conceal shame or anxiety or to boost self-esteem: by demeaning others, the abuser feels empowered. Bullies may bully out of jealousy or because they themselves are bullied. Psychologist Roy Baumeisterasserts that people who are prone to abusive behavior tend to have inflated but fragile egos. Because they think too highly of themselves, they are frequently offended by the criticisms and lack of deference of other people, and react to this disrespect with violence and insults.
Of typical bystanders
Often, bullying takes place in the presence of a large group of relatively uninvolved bystanders. In many cases, it is the bully's ability to create the illusion they have the support of the majority present that instills the fear of "speaking out" in protestation of the bullying activities being observed by the group. Unless the "bully mentality" is effectively challenged in any given group in its early stages, it often becomes an accepted, or supported, norm within the group.
Of victims
Dr. Cook says, "A typical victim is likely to be aggressive, lack social skills, think negative thoughts, experience difficulties in solving social problems, come from a negative family, school and community environments and be noticeably rejected and isolated by peers." Victims often have characteristics such as being physically and mentally weak, as well as being easily distraught emotionally. They may also have physical characteristics that make them easier targets for bullies such as being overweight or having some type of physical deformity. Boys are more likely to be victims of physical bullying while girls are more likely to be bullied indirectly.
Effect
Suicide : Even though there is evidence that bullying increases the risk of suicide, bullying alone does not cause suicide. Depression is one of the main reasons why kids who are bullied die by suicide. It is estimated that between 15 and 25 children die by suicide every year in the UK alone because they are being bullied. Certain groups seem to incur a higher risk for suicide, such as Native Americans, Alaskan Natives, Asian Americans, and LGBT people. When someone feels unsupported by family or friends, it can make the situation much worse for the victim.
Characteristics of Bullying Predators
1. Always want power
People who have a tendency to power, sometimes feel themselves superior to others. True, right ? This type of person often orders his friends to do various things. For example, to just pick up books, do school work, and even buy food. In fact, these things can be done alone. People who always want to be in power seem to want to always have an important role in their environment. Now, is there one of you like this?
2. Be selfish
Everyone really needs to be selfish. However, if it is done excessively and continuously it is also a danger, you know . If you are too selfish, this could be a major factor that triggers bullying . The reason is, you will care too much about your personal desires and pleasures. Selfish people also easily ignore other people's feelings. This habit makes you become a person who cannot sympathize and empathize with others. If given suggestions or criticism, even always give a negative response.
3. Irritable
Another characteristic that you are bullying is easily angry with others. This action can be caused by many things. For example, always dissatisfied with the surroundings or lack of attention. When someone has this trait, they tend to be aggressive, feel insecure, and anxious. Finally, his anger was vented by committing mischief or actually scolding other people.
4. Don't feel guilty
After you got angry or wronged a friend, have you ever felt guilty? If the answer is no, it could be that you have one of the traits of the bully . The habit of people who have this characteristic is often easy to make fun of, ridicule, and humiliate others without feeling guilty. If it continues, it can be very dangerous, you know ! Even from the results of your actions, it can make the victim become vindictive, and also bully others.
5. Lacking empathy and compassion
The bullies will experience a crisis of empathy and compassion for the situation around them. They could not imagine his position as a victim. Moreover, they do not care when they see the condition of the victim they have intimidated. Therefore, it is very important for you to instill a sense of empathy. Try from now on, multiply following humanitarian activities that can foster your sense of empathy for others!
Characteristics of Children Becoming Bullying Victims
The problem is, not all children will be wholeheartedly honest when asked. However, if children are accustomed to being open since childhood, the method above can work. If children are reluctant to answer, indications of bullying can be seen from the following characteristics:
Lazy children go to school
Always excited, he suddenly broke down at school. If there are no symptoms that he is sick, ask the child what happened to make him reluctant to go to school. If the child does not answer satisfactorily, communicate with the teacher to find out what happened at school so that the child becomes discouraged.
His learning achievement decreased
If the child looks lackluster, has difficulty concentrating until his performance drops dramatically, you may be suspicious. Of course, the cause is not bullying. But at least you've tried to figure it out and then find a way to solve the problem.
Children like to be alone
Bullying victims tend to shut down. He prefers to be alone, shy away from his own friends and family members. If your child is often caught alone in the room and cries, he or she may be the victim of bullying.
More emotional
Bullying victim children are more sensitive. He gets angry easily.
His habits changed
He is no longer cheerful. He is very introverted. He doesn't want to tell about activities at school. She also started hiding things from her parents. He's getting dishonest. Maybe he even dared to steal his parents' money.
The child has insomnia
He has trouble sleeping. Even if he finally fell asleep, he would easily wake up because of frequent nightmares.
Experiencing physical injuries
Children have injuries, but usually will say strange reasons to cover up the truth. He didn't want to admit that he was being bullied because he was embarrassed and didn't want to look weak. Therefore he chose to lie.
How To Prevent And Manage Bullying Actions
Prevention and treatment of victims of bullying
Prevention :
Prevention from becoming a victim of bullying can be done in various ways, as follows:
1. Do not carry expensive items or excessive money. Seizing, destroying, or holding the victim's belongings are actions that are usually carried out by the bully. Therefore, as much as possible do not give them the opportunity by bringing expensive items or excessive money to school. If you have to, hide it in a safe place, leave it with a trusted teacher or friend, or at least avoid putting the item or money in an open place that could attract the bully's attention .
2. Don't be alone. Perpetrators of bullying saw a solitary child as a potential prey. Therefore, don't be alone in the classroom, in the school hallway, or in other quiet places. If possible, be in a place where the teacher or other adult can see you. It would be even better if you were with friends, or trying to make friends with other loner children who may have also been victims. You may be helpless against bullies alone, but you will be safer with others.
3. Don't mess with the bully. If you know that there are certain children who don't like you, or are widely known to be bullies , as much as possible avoid being around them or in the same area as them. This includes areas outside of school, such as the roads you normally use when commuting to or from school or in a pick-up vehicle. If forced, make sure there are adults (parents, teachers, employees) who can intervene with bullying or your friends.
4. What if one day you are still caught in a bullying situation? The key is to appear confident. Don't present yourself as weak or frightened, such as standing in an upright posture, looking down when spoken to or responding nervously. Stay calm, state your objections firmly, then leave them.
Don't let your emotions catch up and get back at them for their actions unless you feel you have enough skills to do so; if not (for example because the perpetrators carry weapons or the number of perpetrators is far greater), you will only make the situation worse. Only fight as a last resort to defend yourself if it's not possible to get away from it.
5. Finally, bullying will only stop forever if you dare to report to a parent, teacher, or other adult you trust. You are not a coward at all; It takes much more courage to act and try to change the wrong condition the best you can than to just sit there and hope that all the suffering you are feeling will go away by itself.
Handling:
1.Try to be clear about what happened to the victim of bullying. Emphasize that the incident was not his fault.
2. Help the victim cope with any discomfort, explaining what happened and why it happened. Never blame the victim for bullying.
3. Ask a third party (teacher or professional) to help return the victim to normal conditions, if necessary and to deal with the perpetrator.
4. For people who are close to the victim (such as parents), it is important to observe the behavior and emotions of the victim, even when the bullying that she has experienced has long since passed (remember that victims usually hold a grudge and are potential to become the perpetrator in the future). They must work closely with the school (teachers) to help and observe any emotional or physical changes in their children. Be aware of the different expressions of aggression shown by children at home and at school (the presence or absence of parents / teachers / caregivers).
5. For parents, build closeness with children's friends. Pay attention to their stories about children. Be aware of changes or unusual behavior.
Prevention And Handling Of Bullying Perpetrators
Prevention:
The role of parents in preventing a child from becoming bullies is very large. Here are tips so that children do not become bullies :
1. Children can become bullies, among others, if they experience low self-esteem. Therefore, strive to educate children in an atmosphere full of love that educates children to have pride in themselves. Real affection also makes children feel safe and tends to be more willing to cooperate with parents / teachers. But be careful not to spoil the child which has an impact on the child's side.
2. Be alert if your child shows excessive aggressiveness, especially to those who are weaker (siblings, caregivers, playmates who are smaller or shorter) or even animals, plants and toys.
3. If your child has been a victim of bullying, to prevent him from becoming a bully in the future, ask for expert help so that the problem is resolved properly and there is no grudge in the future. Observe the child's behavior and emotional state from time to time, even when the bullying has long since passed.
4. Always try to be open and have discussions with children about various things. Always be ready to give positive comments and avoid judging children. However, don't let your children "harm" them by spoiling them excessively.
Handling:
1. Immediately ask the perpetrator to talk about what he was doing. Explain that his actions are detrimental to both himself and others. Get help from the experts so that the problem is handled properly and resolved completely.
2. Find out why the perpetrator did this. Cause determines treatment. Children who become perpetrators because of inferiority complex will certainly be handled differently from perpetrators because of resentment because they have been victims. Likewise, if the perpetrator is caused by his different aggressiveness.
3. Position yourself to help the offender and not judge the offender.
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